Andy Laub

Prologue

Last year I bought a Buell Blast (aka the Hardliest of Davidsons), a bike with half a motor that was more fun to ride than it had a right to be. Then I spent a bunch of time (and money, but mostly time) making it better. This is great, I thought. I definitely don’t need to go faster than this.

As it turns out, that’s not entirely true. As the warm weather hit this year, I started to fantasize about something a little different – a bike that didn’t require me to hold on for dear life while doing a “leisurely” 70 on the highway. I figured I’d give the Buell one more summer while I searched for the perfect replacement – I still wanted something relatively inexpensive, but… bigger. And with more cylinders.

I found one candidate within relatively close proximity – the mileage and price were right, and the color was… tolerable. Because it wasn’t the color I would’ve wanted, I hemmed and hawed on it for a week or two before finally calling. It was still available! But wait… the owner had purchased it from his brother, and there was a lien on the title.

Don’t worry, he said! His brother had just called the bank and they were sending the lien release, so he’d have it soon. We agreed that it would be best to wait until it arrived before I went to see the bike. I knew that if I saw it, I’d be too tempted to shove money into his hand-hole and drive it away – an impossibility without the proper paperwork.

I waited, but I am not a patient person. I made calls about other bikes – one of which I was ready to buy until I received a text from the owner: “Hey sorry man I went to the dealer and they gave me almost what I wanted for my bike so I traded it in.” Jaw, floor, etc. I was so pissed – I had psyched myself up for this new option and now I was back to square one.

Back to waiting. Another week passed, with intermittent texts between me and the owner of bike #1 – me letting him know I was still interested, him letting me know that there was no news. It was a little after the 2-week mark when he called to let me know that his brother finally got ahold of the bank and they were sending out the lien release paperwork.

Wait… what? Didn’t that happen already? I should note at this point that during the entirety of this process I was doing near obsessive amounts of research trying to figure out other ways to release the title, none of which turned out to be viable options. So when I found out that the first time his brother had called, he had only left a message, I reached my breaking point.

Part I: The Hunt Re-begins

I should also mention that at the same time, my other half was getting the itch to ditch his Buell for something even shinier and newer-er. Suffice it to say that there was a bit of drama about that, and suddenly 600cc’s didn’t feel like the right choice anymore.

That’s how I found myself in Minneapolis (three hours from home) on a Wednesday evening, handing over cash for a bike that… was not the most attractive thing (at the moment). We had planned to run over, pick it up, and get back out of town by 5:00 or so, avoiding cold and darkness for most of the trip home.

That…is not what happened. When my sidekick stopped at the side of the road to figure out a route out of town, I made the horrible mistake of turning off the bike. And then it didn’t turn back on. Fortunately we were able to jump start it with little trouble, but the first priority now was to track down a replacement battery. Looking back I’m not sure why I thought this was the best course of action, but you know what they say about hindsight. We found a great little shop only a couple miles away – and I managed to stall on the way there, resulting in me temporarily abandoning my newly-acquired friend on the side of the road.

But at least we got a battery! Except it turned out that the problem was not the battery! And everyplace was now closed! I tried calling Uhaul, from whom I would’ve gladly rented a motorcycle trailer in exchange for not having to ride for three hours in the dark on an unfamiliar bike. I was pretty thrilled when they a) couldn’t find our local office (where I would’ve returned the trailer) and b) bounced me around just long enough for the Minneapolis office to close and no longer accept reservations. For about twenty minutes my world slowly compressed as I tried to figure out how I was going to get this expletive home OH GOD I’M STUCK HERE.

Part II: Fuck It, Let’s Just Do This

It was somewhere around this point that I remembered that the item in question was a vehicle still perfectly capable of moving under its own power. We hooked up the jumper cables yet again, and the bike immediately came back to life with that weird uneven idle that inline-four bikes seem to have. Our first stop was a gas station a few miles away where we’d fill up and then I’d make my inaugural trip onto the highway. It would be inaccurate to say I’ve never been so stressed out on a motorcycle – while unfamiliar with this particular bike, I was no longer terrified of riding in traffic like I was on those first couple of days with the Buell. I was just very very worried about stalling, as each mishap would cost valuable time.

But we made it to the gas station, where I spent a lofty $9.36 for my first tank of gas and inevitably splattered it everywhere because I am amazing. From there the story begins to blur. I remember that first twist of the throttle onto the highway, where the bike happily chugged along at 75 and was eager for more. I remember the sun beginning to set as we drove through Hudson (Wisconsin), and the weather beginning to cool dramatically. I remember seeing some motorcyclists look over at me from the opposite side of the highway to see what I was riding, because I like to do that too. And I remember pulling into the gas station / rest stop / hotel outside of Eau Claire that marked the halfway point of our journey and being nearly frozen to death. We decided to grab some dinner after refueling (just $7.16 this time!), and I shivered my way through some hot chocolate and a grilled cheese sandwich. And cheese curds – always cheese curds.

The last hundred miles were weird. It somehow managed to feel colder and darker, and the whole experience honestly made me feel a little stir crazy. At 60 miles from home I tried counting to pass the time, and at 30 miles from home I had resorted to singing songs from community theatre shows I’ve been in. It was nearly 11:00 when we arrived back in Wausau. Waiting on the doorstep was the motorcycle jacket I had recently ordered, which would’ve really come in handy. I have great timing.

Part III: Assault With Battery

The next day I dropped the bike off at a local shop to diagnose the starting issue and generally look the bike over. They installed some new tires and recommended a new Regulator/Rectifier to solve the problem. I decided to order the part and install it myself, and… nothing. Another drive out to the shop confirmed that it didn’t seem to be a defective part, and a trip to a (much closer) auto shop confirmed that both batteries seemed to be bad. Awesome!

I boxed up the new battery for my inevitable trip back to Minneapolis, reinstalled the old battery, and hooked up the charger. Lo and behold, THAT battery actually starts the bike – something the new one could never manage to do. Either the new battery was defective from the start, or not fully-charged, or both, but suffice it to say it was a complete failure. And because I am a genius, I made the assumption that dead battery = bad battery, something which didn’t seem to be the case. I still don’t know if the R/R was actually defective, but at least I have a new one!

Epilogue

So it seems this motorcycle and I got off on the completely wrong foot – what was supposed to be a fun adventure turned into something significantly less fun. At the same time, it did make for an experience. The bike, one I’ve been smitten with for nearly ten years, is now happy and healthy, and I’m totally in love.

I’ve been finding myself with a little extra free time lately, and given that I’ve pretty much sapped any remaining enjoyment from all the games in the house, renting something seemed to be in order. I’ve had my eye on Gran Turismo 5 since it came out, but my devotion to the Forza Motorsport series and previous sour experiences made me reluctant to run out and buy it without sampling it first.

Boy, am I glad I did. I’ve been playing both Forza and GT since their first iterations, and I feel totally confident in saying that Turn 10 has made more progress and improvements on the Forza series since its introduction in 2005 than Polyphony Digital has since the first Gran Turismo in 1998. Graphics on both have improved with each successive installment, as expected, but aside from that GT5 feels like the same game I played in high school. It’s like PD spent so much time working on making the cars look good in high definition (more on that momentarily) that they ran out of time to do anything else, like develop a consistent, useful, and attractive UI instead of just throwing in the same piecemeal menus they’ve always had.

It’s true, the game can be eye candy. This is provided that you’re driving one of the 200 “premium” cars and not one of the remaining 800 “standard” cars. Yes, there are two different car formats. GT has a long history of including more cars than any of its competitors and GT5 could not be the exception to that rule, so the result is that about 20% of the cars have a much higher polygon count and a modeled interior. The rest are “updated” models that were used in previous GT games. On the surface they generally don’t look too bad, but unfortunately the deficits of the standard cars don’t end there. Standard cars also can’t have any visual modifications applied to them. Most notably this affects the (painfully small) selection of aftermarket wheels, but also applies to any aerodynamic goodies you may have been longing for. The game’s photo mode is also exclusive to premium cars.

But enough about the cars – isn’t the racing fun? Well… sure. It’s okay, but I don’t enjoy it as much as Forza. That’s a subjective thing and I’m not going to sit here and try to convince you that Forza’s gameplay is better. The main issue with any racing game, especially more sim-oriented ones like these, is that you’ll likely be spending as much time in the menus and in your garage as you do racing. And as I said before, the menus and UI are really where GT5 could have used some attention. There are little things that are just wrong, like having an inventory of paint swatches (I don’t really know how this works), or not allowing you to proceed to the next race in a series after winning the current event, or being told that you can’t change your driver’s uniform (suit and helmet colors) after you start the game. What an odd decision to make so final.

Speaking of starting the game, let’s talk about what happens when you put the disc in for the first time. Forget that it recommends a 50-minute installation; Forza 3 has an entire disc of content to install so I call it a wash. But I did spend 15 minutes watching various updates (a noted PS3 weakness), prompts, and restarts before the intro video even started rolling.

Finally, I was able to actually play the game, and by “play the game” I mean “start navigating menus”. Like Forza 3, GT5 has a narrator to somewhat guide you through the beginning of the game. Also suspiciously like Forza 3, GT5’s narrator is a male with a British accent. After filling in some initial profile information and choosing (irrevocably!?) your driver’s apparel, you’re told it’s time to buy a car. Except that you are only allowed to drive cars that are at or under your current level (zero), so your choice is somewhat limited. Honestly, I’m not sure whether you can buy outside of your level – if so, that alleviates one major gripe, as I would’ve bought a level 1 or level 2 car and done the initial license tests until I could use it.

Yes, there are license tests. No, they’re not really that fun. Yes, they’re required if you want to advance to any of the mid to high level races. Fortunately they’re not tremendously difficult if you have some previous console racing experience, but they do expose a couple more flaws with the game – namely that the ghosts are somewhat broken. The purpose of a ghost is to represent a previous effort to complete the challenge; you can use it to gauge your progress as you move incrementally closer to your goal. Or you would, if it worked properly. There are two problems with ghosts in GT5:

1. It will only record the ghost when you receive a trophy for the first time, instead of automatically saving the fastest. You can back out to the menu and return to the challenge to get around this, but that’s ridiculous for what is essentially an AAAA game.
2. When racing a ghost, they have a tendency to disappear if your car gets too close (nearly overlapping), so you can’t actually tell where the ghost is.

Finally, PD also bowed to pressure and added the racing line, a feature I first experienced in Forza. Essentially it’s a dotted line on the course that gives you an idea of the best way to traverse the various corners. It also turns red in areas where you need to slow the car. But being used to the Forza version, the GT version seems foreign to me. There were a lot of instances where I didn’t feel like I was in the right place or where their recommended braking area or distance was suboptimal in that it didn’t slow me enough or slowed me too much to remain competitive. It’s almost something that’s better left turned off, which entirely defeats the point.

With all that in mind, I didn’t harbor much regret when I slipped the game back into the return slot at the video store. At some point down the line I’m sure I’ll own it, but to me it doesn’t feel like a $60 (or $50, or $40) game. It’s a title that’s putting a lot of weight on previous games and sentimentality, and we’ve all seen what happens to games that go down that road.

Somehow I ended up on an old post I made shortly after getting the Saab, about the things I planned to do to it (strikes added):

1. Alignment, check-up, oil change – scheduled for Monday.
2. Wash, wax, buff out the small clearcoat scratches – as soon as the weather gets nice.
3. New speakers – as soon as I can figure out how to fit the back ones.
4. De-badging – I’m thinking I might remove the “SAAB” and “9-3” from the trunk, but I’m not sure yet.
5. Possibly get some smoked side markers to replace the amber units – I don’t think this would be complicated but I’m on the fence about doing it at all.
6. Replace the black interior door handles with chrome ones – if I can freaking find any.
7. Replace the lower center console – the current one has a hole drilled in it and some scratches, so if I can find a cheap one it might be a weekend project.
8. New tires – maybe around fall, and these would possibly be accompanied by new, larger wheels as well.
9. Look into getting the one larger scratch buffed out – we’ll see how the car holds up before I decide whether professional cosmetic work is worth it.

Huh.

Sometimes I’ll look around and think I have too much stuff. And it’s true – I have a lot of stuff. We have a lot of stuff. No, it’s not an episode of Hoarders when you walk in the house, but it’s just… a little overwhelming sometimes.

Most of the time this feeling comes and goes, but occasionally it reaches critical mass and drastic measures are required. There was a period of time after buying my LeMond in which I owned three bicycles. I don’t think I ever tried to convince myself that this was logical; I think I just tried to ignore it. At a certain point it became clear the Bianchi was purely excess and was no longer a necessary possession, so I sold it.

When I was still in school and basically didn’t have any money, being able to own things was a sort of goal. And while owning things continues to be nice, I’ve also become somewhat attracted to the idea of only owning the “right” amount of things. In essence, carefully managing both the quality and especially quantity of what I have.

That’s why I’m willing to take somewhat of a hit when selling an old (in the sense of having been made redundant) bicycle or iPhone or television. True, making a little extra money is nice, but whoever buys whatever I’m selling is also doing me the favor of getting it out of my life.

At some point in December my left brain and my right brain finally got together on something and concluded that owning two cars is neither practical nor enjoyable. The Miata was fun for awhile, but I really just got kind of sad when thinking about it because I didn’t feel like I was being a good owner. And of course, having two cars means maintaining and insuring two cars, and while the Miata was never a burden, it was definitely excess.

So I sold it. Or planned to sell it, anyway. At the same time, the Saab has been getting long in the tooth, and without the Miata my sole car would be one with an automatic transmission and a lot of miles. So I decided to sell that too. This could have turned out really badly, with one or both cars languishing on Craigslist until I desperately accepted the first offer I received. Worse, I’d miss out on a car that I wanted to buy because of my self-imposed “all cars must fit in the garage” policy.

Miraculously, this was not the case. In what has to be the best Craigslist experience I’ve ever had, I managed to buy a car and sell two others in a span of four days, and actually be pretty pleased with how it all shook out financially. But what really makes me happy is that instead of having two marginally good cars, I now have one car that I can really get excited about.

The top ten things I’ve seen in the last 72 hours:

1. Miami Beach, daytime
2. Miami Beach, nighttime
3. Exotic cars being driven ever so casually
4. Exotic cars for rent, should you only need that Rolls Royce for a day
5. A submarine (from the air)
6. Cruise ships (from the highway)
7. The Atlantic Ocean (from the beach)
8. Free in-air WiFi
9. The Miami Opera House, because it’s so cool-looking
10. The Miami International Airport, because it’s so huge*

*I didn’t fly into or out of MIA, but it’s worth mentioning that I was on the phone for about ten minutes at one point and we were driving past the airport the entire time.

At any given time over the last fifteen years I’ve held wildly varying opinions of Volkswagen, from thinking they could do no wrong with the introduction of the A4 Golf and B5 Passat in 1998-1999 to thinking that wrong is all they could do with the successors of those cars (although in fairness they actually were better). Now I’m somewhere in between. On good days I think of cars like the new GTI and… well, that’s really it.

The worst of the modern VW lineup is easily the Beetle. It was an alright car when it came out but always suffered from being packaged incredibly poorly; you could get essentially the same car in a VW Golf or GTI but with the interior space arranged in such a way that it’s actually useful (unless you really needed that extra 8 inches of headroom above the front seat).

But such are the demands of retro design, and the success of the New Beetle meant more old-new cars couldn’t be far behind. Most notable is the resurgence of the entire MINI brand, followed later by Fiat’s (soon-to-be-US-bound) 500. However, the thing about the MINI and 500 is that their original shapes weren’t that different from that of a modern two-door hatchback, meaning that unlike the Beetle the packaging remains inherently practical. A Cooper still has a moderately useful back seat (in terms of headroom) and cargo area, two things that can’t be said for the Volkswagen.

Which is why VW still has to offer overlapping small cars in Europe, where things like that are actually important. While the US lineup bottoms out at the Golf (size: medium), VW Europe continues to move down the scale with the Polo (size: small) and then the Fox (size: extra small). On top of that, both are thousands of pounds (yes, pounds) cheaper than the Beetle, and are infinitely more useful.

But instead of throwing us a bone and federalizing the Polo (a car that’s eminently practical but also enjoyable to drive) for the US, VW has determined that YES, they do need to build a New New Beetle because the old New Beetle was just so good. Sadly, the new car will be just as stupid, and I will be just as bitter.

Instead of releasing the actual game, Sony instead decided we would like this trailer they made for Gran Turismo 5:

0:12 – That’s a city. It looks… okay.
0:17 – Headlights in a tunnel? Kind of neat, but not something I’d want in a racing game.
0:23 – Why do these cities always look abandoned?
0:34 – Nurburgring. Eh.
0:38 – Car commercial shot.
0:54 – From that previous comment to here, this trailer is awesome.
0:55 – And now I’m bored.
0:55 – Mercedes’ should not be red.
0:58 – That’s better.
1:06 – ACTIVE AERO.
1:12 – Is the front plate really necessary?
1:20 – Stock cars…?
1:29 – Pit crews – that’s cool!
1:36 – That damage is fantastic!
1:40 – Ferraris should be red.
1:55 – They have all these gratuitous glamour shots when really you’re either going to be seeing the back of your car or the steering wheel 100% of the time.
2:25 – Gran Turismo 5: coming… some day?

So in summary:

1. Active aero is cool.
2. Pit crews are cool.
3. More detailed / extreme damage is cool.
4. I don’t care that much about GT5.

When I was younger, I went a couple times with my dad to the Greater Milwaukee Auto Show. At the time I considered it to be the greatest thing in the world, as I was interested primarily in new cars and that’s what I got.

The thing with the Milwaukee show is that it was put on by the car dealers of Milwaukee, so the exhibits were limited to whatever cars they had on hand (which were admittedly nice), and anything above and beyond that could only be considered a favor from the manufacturer (like such as a concept car that’s already made its rounds to the “big” shows).

I returned there as an adult (debatably), and while it was still enjoyable, I decided next year it would be worth the extra time to check out the Chicago Auto Show – a “real” industry event that takes place around the same time, but where manufacturers are happy to spend all kinds of money to get you take a second look at their offerings.

2010 marks the first year I’ve made it back to the show (or Chicago, sadly) since 2006, as life and general apathy seem to have gotten in the way in the successive years. But finally, finally I committed to getting back down there, and had a great time in the city, only a minor part of which was spent at the auto show itself.

Notable Inclusions

I don’t know that there were any cars that I was genuinely surprised to see there. Perhaps the Fiat 500, since it’s a car not (yet) sold here. Same goes for the Equus, the new top dog from Hyundai. I was happy to see the new Mercedes SLS and Lexus LF-A in the flesh, since they’re both cars that will probably never see the likes of Wausau. Fisker made a welcome appearance, as did the Lotus Evora and a pair of Lamborghinis.

Notable Exclusions

Saab was missing, which was disappointing but not a huge surprise given the turbulence of the brand lately. I was really hoping to see the new 9-5 and 9-4x but I guess I’ll have to wait for them to recombobulate themselves. Also notably absent was Porsche (although it was represented by a local dealer so I did finally get to see the Panamera) and other high-dollar offerings like Bentley and Ferrari. Edit: also Tesla.

Best Display

My first instinct is to give this one to Audi, since they decided to make all of their cars the same color (and it’s my favorite color). Scion also had a strong showing despite not having any interesting cars. In terms of the vehicles themselves, though, it’s hard not to like Ford. Between the 2011 Mustangs, the Fiesta, the new Focus (finally), the Taurus, the Raptor, and their myriad of other great vehicles, it’s hard not to have a lot of hope for the American auto industry.

Worst Display

While there were a fair number of merely average displays, only a few qualify as completely phoned in. The Fiat display was nothing to write home about: two cars and two models, roped off from the general public. All four were boring. The Maserati wasn’t much better; it just sat there lonesomely on its turntable, surrounded by Fiats and Chryslers. Honorable mention goes to Land Rover for leaving all of their cars locked (dicks!).

Best of Show

Despite the recession, there were a lot of great cars this year. The SLS is certainly a looker, and I was actually really excited about the Toyota FT-CH concept (NERD!) because it embodies everything I want to see in the future of day-to-day cars: creative design elements, smart packaging, and an efficient powerplant.

Worst Place

Again, there was a lot of good, and a lot of average, and very little that was just unequivocally bad. But there was one car there I could never, ever, EVER spend money on, and that would be the smart. Completely useless in pretty much every way, and to add insult to injury, it’s way overpriced. It’s like a MINI with none of the fun or practicality. Worst concept goes to the Chrysler Lancia Delta… thing. As Autoblog said so eloquently:

You are looking at… well, no one at the Chrysler booth seemed to know exactly what this is. They didn’t even have a proper name for it.

And it’s true. It was just… there, the wallflower of the Chrysler display. It wanted our attention but nobody could say why it deserved it.

Let me begin by apologizing for the near incident that occurred last week. As someone whose feet are in his top three preferred modes of transportation (pending weather and destination), I want to say that I understand the hassles that accompany being a pedestrian in this fine city we both call home, and that those hassles are only compounded when vehicles (large and small) become involved.

However, I feel that there are a few things that went awry in this situation that could have easily led to a catastrophe. I would begin by suggesting that, when you inevitably need to cross a street, you choose a location other than a few yards around what is essentially a blind corner for traffic. You could’ve begun at the corner itself, where I would’ve been able to see you before I turned, or you could’ve walked the extra block to the next intersection where there are crosswalks and crossed there, or even waited until you were a few yards further down the block so my experience wasn’t just “turning-BOOM-pedestrian” (fortunately not literally).

I am happy you were at least as far from the corner as you were, as when I rounded the corner (with no stop sign, mind you) there was a fair gap between the right side of the street (where you had come from) and where you presently were (nearly in the middle of the road). As such, I altered my course appropriately, veering slightly more toward the right to give extra space between you and my vehicle. I chose this approach as it represented a clear path for me without inhibiting your progress, since it’s preferable for me as a pedestrian to, well, get my ass out of the street as soon as possible since that’s where cars go.

Imagine my surprise, then, when instead of continuing on your way (or even stopping in the middle of the street, similar to a deer!), you decided the best course of action was to jump backwards into the path of my car. You got me good here – I definitely was NOT expecting that move! As I steered to the left in an attempt to avoid your maneuver, I was already sensing futility in this exercise, and was not disappointed when you jumped back the left, and in front of me a second time.

At this point I must ask if you’ve ever been walking down a hallway and encountered someone going the opposite way? If so, you’ll be familiar with that awkward little dance that happens when right of way is being determined. Between two (relatively) slow-moving people, it’s little more than an annoyance. However, I would not recommend playing this game with a car, or really anything larger than yourself. I’ll just say that I’m glad I stopped and did not hit you, but only because of the hassle it saved me in the end. I’d highly recommend that next time this happens to you (and given your self-righteous tirade afterwards, I’m sure it will), you act in a more predictable manner instead of like some sort of wild animal.

2008 ended last week, I guess. I feel like I wrote a decent amount, and I had every intention of writing a sort of “year in review” type of post. But I never got to a point where I had the right tone in my head, so instead I present you with this meme I found on the internerd. INTERNERD.

Achievements & Landmarks

What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?

Lost weight on purpose. Went into debt for a car that I fell in love with.

Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I guess so, and probably not. They were always a half-hearted promise to eat better and take better care of myself. Also I’m pretty sure I was resolving about a Mac Pro heavily at this time last year.

Did anyone close to you give birth?

Uh, our neighbors? Or did you mean emotionally close? Then no.

Did anyone close to you die?

Sort of close. It would be wrong to say we weren’t close at some point.

What countries did you visit?

This one.

What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

Patience.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I don’t think there’s one big thing that stands out, but I’m really proud of the work I did on Over the River and Through the Woods and Sweeney Todd. And losing weight counts as a major thing for me.

What was your biggest failure?

I let things fall by the wayside that shouldn’t have, and got angry way more than I should have.

What was the best thing you bought?

The Mac was the most practical best thing, and the Miata was the least practical best thing.

Whose behavior merited celebration?

What? Not mine, that’s for sure.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

People I thought I could trust. Myself included.

Where did most of your money go?

Toys. Lots of toys.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Grand Theft Auto IV. Driving stick. Singing in public.

What song will always remind you of 2008?

Monsters, by Matchbook Romance. Lame, I know, but it got me stoked for rides at Nine Mile.

Compared to this time last year, are you:

Happier or sadder?

Sadder, but I shouldn’t be.

Thinner or fatter?

Way, way thinner.

Richer or poorer?

Richer.

Miscellany

What do you wish you’d done more of?

Enjoying myself. Letting things go.

What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying. Spending money.

How did you be spend Christmas?

With people whose company I enjoy.

Did you fall in love in 2008?

Only on stage.

How many one-night stands?

None.

What was your favorite TV program?

I enjoyed SNL, as usual. Surprise second goes to Prison Break for no reason whatsoever.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Yeah.

What was the best book you read?

I don’t know – something that was on the bookshelf.

What was your greatest musical discovery?

Stephen Sondheim. The man is a genius.

What did you want and get?

Dollars, which enabled me to get many other things that I wanted.

What did you want and not get?

Resolution. Recognition.

What were your favorite films of this year?

Iron Man, easily. Dark Knight was also enjoyable.

What did you do on your birthday?

Complain. It was a tough day for me this year. That’s what I get for being born on Christmas Eve.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

“Hey, this fits me now!”

What kept you sane?

The internerd. Driving. Acting.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Obama would be a logical answer.

What political issue stirred you the most?

Obvious also starts with an “O”.

Who did you miss?

People I could only talk to online.

Who was the best new person you met?

Somebody who helps keep me sane.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:

Let. It. Go.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

I don’t think I can. That’s pretty lame, even for this.

Here’s a list of reasons why I’ve all but resigned to throwing each successive issue in the garbage until my subscription expires, as provided by the September 2007 issue:

• Page 18: Proclaims that the new race-bred F430, instead of being called the Challeng Stradale, will be called the 430 LP (“Light Pista”). Wrong. It’s called the Scuderia.
• Page 19: Horrible (in-house) concept drawing of a car that Ferrari acknowledges they’re not even building. What’s the point?
• Page 20: Photo of the first-gen Focus, which was available here, accompanying an article referring to the second-gen Europe-specific car.
• Page 21: Two large photos of an Audi RS6 test mule, accompanying a fear-mongering headline about the discontinuation of the RS4. This just in: Honda is discontinuing the Accord. So they can release a new one.
• Page 21: Same article. Used the word blogosphere.
• Page 26: Really, really unflattering photo of designer Frank Stephenson. The guy is a stud, but you wouldn’t know it from this photo.
• Page 76 Article about the Subaru WRX called, and I quote, “omgwrxlol.” Yes, seriously. Too much internet focus, especially when it gets to the point of referring to usernames regarding forum talk about the (ugly) new WRX. They promise to “set the record straight,” about what I don’t know. It’s still ugly.

I don’t know if I’m pleased or disappointed to come up with that many things, but man, that magazine just leaves me with a chip on my shoulder.

Warm(ish) weather is starting to show up again, which makes me happy. Of course, that means the last couple of days have been spent thinking of open air motoring, either in the form of a convertible or a motorcycle.

At the top of the list is a Honda Civic Del Sol. I have loved this car ever since its debut when I was still in middle school. I really like Honda’s practical approach to open motoring; rather than offer a traditional ragtop, they use a panel that unlatches and stores in the trunk. Combine this with the Honda drivability that I love so much, and it’s a definite winner. Why don’t I have one? Because a) there’s still nowhere to store it and b) I can’t freaking find one.

Both of those problems are solved with option #2: a motorcycle. I really, really like the Suzuki SV650. It’s got the looks, the powerplant (not too crazy) and most importantly, it’s almost ridiculously easy to find a great deal on a lightly used one from a dealer. I’ve seen last year’s models going for under $5K which is a steal for a basically new bike. Why don’t I have one? Because I still can’t convince myself that a motorcycle is a good idea. I had one (non-serious) mishap on the scooter when I owned it that kind of turned me off of the whole 2-wheels thing. I was into it last year when I got my motorcycle license, but the interest and novelty faded and left me glad that I didn’t buy anything.

I might be swayed if I found an old Honda Nighthawk or similar bike for cheap in the area, but I don’t see myself going any other route. I really do enjoy cars more than bikes, but it’s just so impractical to have more than one and I can’t justify ditching my car for something less practical either. For now I’ll just have to settle for windows down, sunroof-open, shift-free cruising.

There’s an aura of difficulty and stubbornness that seems to surround the Department of Motor Vehicles, at least in many peoples’ minds. I’ll admit, I was feeling a little stressed when I entered this morning, thanks to their succinct instructions:

1. Take a number
2. Fill out a form
3. Wait for your number to be called

I always liked #2 the best, as though as long as you were filling out some sort of form, you were fine. But my problem is that I’m completely helpless in situations like this, and so I wasn’t sure what form to fill out to change my address (answer: new license application).

But I think much of the stigma comes from the gruff-ish attitude of the staff there, as though they don’t need your business. Truth is, they’re just trying to get stuff done, same as everybody. They want to continue to proceed in an orderly fashion, so if that means you have to leave the window to fill out another form, deal with it.

Fortunately, I made sure to fill out the forms I thought I might need just in case, which put me on the fast track to new license-ism. Hotness.

The most important thing to remember when visiting the DMV is the thing that causes most people to stress out: don’t be in a hurry. The nicer you are, the nicer everybody else is. I had to laugh (internally) at the huffy girl after me in the line to get a new license, acting as though having to wait in line or write things was super-hard.

• The Acura RDX is interesting, but not interesting enough to get out of the car. Especially if you’re hungry.
• There is a Chipotle Grill near the Acura dealership in Bloomington. This is an exciting development, because it picked up what otherwise turned out to be an almost totally unproductive day.
• IKEA Minneapolis, I give up. You were temporarily oversold on not one, but both of the items I came there to buy. Last time we tried to buy a shelf you didn’t have any on the floor, and were unable to take them down from the overhead area before the next day. That’s… inconvenient to say the least. Word has it that 65% of your customer base is local, so this kind of service, while inconvenient, may be okay with them. But that leaves 35% of your customers that drive hours from other areas only to exit empty-handed. It seems as though you’re not familiar with inventory management, which is sad because even Wal-Mart is better at it than you.
• Marshall Field’s has officially transitioned to Macy’s, marking the 2nd name change for all the local stores in less than 5 years.
• If you plan on visiting the Genius Bar at the Apple Store, prepare to wait.
• The 24″ iMac is beyond ridiculous. Abe thought it looked blurry.
• The 17″ Macbook Pro has the same max resolution as my 20″ Apple display.
• We checked Verizon, T-Mobile, and Cingular. None of them had Blackberry cases.
• CompUSA had manager’s specials on video games and that’s why they’re my favorite store. And also why I own PGR 3.
• Circuit City has an overwhelming number of large TV’s. And they were playing the same Eagles concert DVD that they were last time we were there. In July.
• It’s lame when the band you came to Minneapolis to see cancels for “a band emergency.”
• Olive Garden breadsticks and soup are good. And better when combined. Like Voltron.

A little bit of history. Quite some time ago, before I moved to Wausau, Jim Carter (the dealership) sold Mazdas (and Chevrolets). Shortly before I moved here, or maybe it was after, Jim Carter disappeared and was replaced by Kocourek Chevrolet. Mazda evaporated, maybe because they didn’t have much to offer at the time, and so for at least 5 years Wausau has been Mazda-less in spite of its size.

Along the same line, Kocourek recently (in spring 06 or so) filled their import brand void by buying Wausau Imports (Nissan, Saab, Audi, and VW – easily my favorite for window shopping). In this new arrangement, Imports moved into what used to be the Saturn of Wausau dealership, conveniently located across from Kocourek. Saab, however, was moved to Kocourek’s GM building, presumably because of being part of GM.

In the meantime, Mazda was still nowhere to be found, until this week. Fred Mueller (GMC, Buick, and Pontiac) has added an import line to their arsenal with their new Mazda franchise. Like I said, a few years ago, Mazda didn’t bring much to the table. Now though, they have quite a lineup and I’m happy to see they’ve returned because I hated having to drive 40 minutes to look at them. Furthermore, the dude I talked to there (part of the Mueller family) was super nice and very enthusiastic about their new acquisition.

Overall, it’s been an interesting year for the car market in Wausau.

That’s right; I was making a list. And so it goes:

I want a new phone. For the longest time I’ve been digging on the Samsung A900 (aka “Blade” aka “the Samsung RAZR”). It’s got the rad moves, and it plays those newfangled AAC files with little to no effort! The only issue is that it’s slightly on the pricey side, and there’s no contract (re)signing to soften the blow.

The MOTOFONE is a worthy contender.

There’s a new contender that’s recently entered the ring. I’m not talking about that Katana thing; I’m not such a fan. But I’m super stoked on the recently announced MOTOFONE. I love it for its simplicity, but there are two outstanding issues:

1. It doesn’t flip.
2. Who even knows if it will end up with Sprint? Their track record for carrying other skinny Motos isn’t exactly, well, existent.

Other stuff:

• The time has not yet arrived, but I see an Xbox 360 in the future, eventually.
• I mentioned this before, I think, but I’m liking that Canon Digital Rebel XT.
• Nearest in the future is a Trollpod. It ships this month and I’m looking forward to seeing reviews of it.

We went camping with some friends this weekend, and that was fun, but the State Park pass system sucks. You can either buy a year-long pass for $25 or a day pass for $8.

The better deal is obviously to buy the year pass, but the problem is it’s this terrible sticker that you have to permanently affix to your windshield. There are a couple problems with this:

1. I don’t like sticking crap to my car. And this crap doesn’t come off so after the year is up you’re left with a permanently useless sticker.
2. Each pass is intended to be paired with a vehicle which really doesn’t make much sense from a consumer standpoint. Why not offer a tag or static sticker that can be moved from car to car? That way when my car is inevitably getting fixed I can swap the pass to Abe’s car or vice versa. If you really want to get technical, join the 21st century and let each pass be paired with up to 2 or 3 different vehicles and that’s it.
3. I don’t like sticking crap to my car, especially ugly crap.
4. If you decide you want to take your motorcycle to the park, you’d have to stick this to your bike. Furthermore, on bikes without windshields the front part of the sticker is adhered to the surface leaving only the back visible, and I’m sure this is too much for a typical warden to wrap his or her head around.
5. People don’t like sticking crap to their motorcycle either, nor do they like buying motorcyles with crap stuck to them.
6. The Parks Department is retarded.

This should be a good week:

• I’ll hopefully see my car again.
• I should have the new stuff for my bike.
• Abe will get his new toy registered.
• I maybe get to drive Abe’s new toy some more (hee!).

Good stuff, and it’s all vehicle-related (my favorite kind of stuff!).

When I bought my car it wasn’t long before I started researching possible connectivity options for my iPod. I was directed to the Trollpod by a member of one of the boards I was on. It was in development at the time, so I browsed around a bit, signed up for the mailing list, and promptly forgot about it.

Last week I got an email from the dude saying that he was planning to start shipping in August and the Trollpod is now available for pre-orders. I’m still trying to get some more information before I make the decision but it sounds pretty promising. It’s basically a small adapter that lets the iPod plug into the CD changer port on the back of the Saab’s factory head unit. I’m not sure if it lets you control the iPod through the radio controls (which would be cool) but it at least provides a line-level input and charges the iPod.

The Trollpod will sell for $150 and works with early 9-3’s (when they were still cool) and most 9-5’s. Like I said, I’m not planning on buying one right now, but I am quite interested in seeing how well they work.

On a slightly related note, hopefully I’ll have my car back soon so I can finish another project.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday were spent learning the ins and outs of riding motorcycles in a basic rider safety course. Abe took it so he can get a license for his new ride; I took it because motorcycles are cool and I’ve never ridden one. We both had a blast in spite of the combination of sweltering heat, extra clothing and hot asphalt, and we both aced the written and range tests.

The course was invaluable and I’d recommend it to anyone with a free weekend and even a passing interest in motorcycles. And although I don’t currently own a bike (keyword: currently), it will make me more aware as a driver. And now I’m all cool cause I can say that I have a motorcycle license.

So the Saab is out of commission this week while I await the return of my mechanic so he can check out an oiling issue. It’s for this reason that I dragged my bike out of the basement and have been taking that to work instead. I enjoy it — I’ve always enjoyed biking — but I’m realizing that I’m less and less prone to taking risks and/or showing off. I like to think this is partially a result of me biking to commute rather than for recreation, meaning I don’t make an effort. At the same time, minor things like approaching curves at acute angles and anything else vaguely technical gets me nervous, which is sad.

These are things that I used to be able to handle without issue, and now I’m not so sure. It’s boiling down to an overwhelming loss of confidence and I suppose that can be attributed toward a few things. One of the biggest factors was probably my minor mishap last year. The next largest, or maybe equal, is that I have not been on a bike for a long time for anything more than a basic ride around town. That’s what I need to change, as my bike is certainly more capable than I am right now.

At the Imperial Palace.

At Caesar’s.

Still no porn star pictures though (sorry jb).

On the last post I was asked how the Saab has been treating me. I’ve put probably about 500 miles on it so far and they’ve been mostly pain-free. Compared to the Accord the Saab is a freaking muscle car, with 60 more horsepower and a greater willingness to chirp the tires around corners. It proved its load-carrying ability the day I picked it up by swallowing a wagon (one of Soren’s birthday presents).

One of the questions I haven’t been asked is why I chose a 9-3. I went into it briefly back in August and most of those reasons hold true. The power is a welcome jump from what I had without being too much. It’s still very versatile, and has a great level of standard features (heated seats, side airbags, etc). I like that it’s a four door but not a sedan, and I like that it’s not a big car. Most of all, I find 9-3’s to be very, very attractive looking cars.

What I think is interesting is that despite all the visual similarities between the 900 and 9-3, it’s easy to tell which is newer. Thanks to small touches like more modern wheels, different bumpers, updated taillights and a standard spoiler the 9-3 starts to look the part of a sport sedan.

One of the other fun things about the Saab is all the little extras it has that I continue to discover:

• Each fog light assembly contains two bulbs. One is for the fog light itself, and the other, interestingly enough, is for a cornering light that turns on when you signal in that direction; it’s kind of like the swiveling headlamp concept on newer Lexus’ and VW Passats, but simpler.
• Heated mirrors. I wasn’t sure if it had these or not, since its kind of tough to check with the weather we’ve had lately.
• If you have the wipers on and shift into reverse, the rear wiper automatically activates. This confused the hell out of me the first time it happened.
• Not a surprise, but an awesome Euro car trait: the headlights turn off with the ignition.
• When the ignition is turned off but the key is not removed, the radio is still usable.
• Another non-surprise: rear fog light. Not overly common; it’s just an extra light you can turn on in the back when it’s foggy.

For now, that’s pretty much it. I plan on ordering some new tires in pretty short order, but I’m foregoing the wheels for now. After that the to-do list is nearly complete.

Hey, remember last year (5-8-05) when I started seriously car-shopping? One of the very first cars I drove was a green 1995 Saab 900S 4-door with a manual transmission. Er… I should say that I tried to drive it, as I wasn’t so good with the clutching. Anyways, the dude was selling it because he bought a Subaru Forester.

The point of the story is, I happened to drive past his house yesterday, and what had replaced the Subaru? A midnight blue 2002 Saab 9-3 SE sedan. I laughed.

So now that I have the car, it’s time to start doing things. Nothing major, but some nice summer projects, in order of priority:

1. Alignment, check-up, oil change – scheduled for Monday.
2. Wash, wax, buff out the small clearcoat scratches – as soon as the weather gets nice.
3. New speakers – as soon as I can figure out how to fit the back ones.
4. De-badging – I’m thinking I might remove the “SAAB” and “9-3” from the trunk, but I’m not sure yet.
5. Possibly get some smoked side markers to replace the amber units – I don’t think this would be complicated but I’m on the fence about doing it at all.
6. Replace the black interior door handles with chrome ones – if I can freaking find any.
7. Replace the lower center console – the current one has a hole drilled in it and some scratches, so if I can find a cheap one it might be a weekend project.
8. New tires – maybe around fall, and these would possibly be accompanied by new, larger wheels as well.
9. Look into getting the one larger scratch buffed out – we’ll see how the car holds up before I decide whether professional cosmetic work is worth it.

So not very much at all; just a bunch of nitpicky little things to keep me occupied and obsessive.