last night, we had a tornado warning that lasted until about 11:00. i didn’t much like it, not only because i had to (gasp!) turn off my computer, but because i just get so paranoid about stuff like that. what if our apartment building got hit. what if we lost all our stuff? what would i do. the problem with anything like this is, once i know that the people i care about are safe, i get extremely material. i was worried about losing everything on the computer, and loosing all my cd’s that i love so dearly. and the dreamcast. i felt worried about that, then felt guilty for worrying about loosing what some people will never even have. but the paranoia itself is nothing new. i’ve always felt that way. i hate to drive across bridges with my car windows open, for fear something will fly out (oh no! i’ve lost my pen!). i am wary of boats for the same reason. i don’t honestly think i could ever handle myself on a cruise. and if i do lose something, i just can’t stop thinking about it. one time i was at a park with my parents and i was playing with a matchbox car (the “Mister Rodgers car,” I called it, for some reason) and it fell into one of those retaining walls that are made with the concrete blocks… you know, they have the holes in the top that line up with one another all the way to the bottom. anyway, i dropped the car down the hole, and i was so upset. i thought about it for months on end, getting a little sick to my stomach each time. more than recently, i left my keys on our coffee table before going out with abe and some people, and forgot they were there. halfway through the evening i realized that i didn’t have my keys and was worried sick i had left them someplace. so i don’t know, i just hate losing stuff. really hate it. and tornadoes, and fires, and floods and everything of that nature, those are the worst, because you lose everything. even after i went to bed, i had a dream that the tornado did hit our building, but not our apartment, just the one across the hall from us. the roof was ripped off and everything, and all i could think about was how glad i was that all our stuff was safe. it was pretty pathetic, really, but i think a lot of people are like that, and that makes me feel a little better.